How our Divorce and Co-Parenting Counselors are Helping Fathers Adjust to New Roles
Today, with post-divorce parenting time protocols leaning towards 50/50 custody, many fathers are learning to adjust to single parenthood, with children that are simultaneously going through big adjustments and emotional turmoil. After a divorce, fathers can be left to adjust to new homes, new routines, and new responsibilities now that there are no longer two parents splitting the duties within one home. These changes can clearly cause single dads with increased levels of stress, self doubt, sadness, insecurity, and frustration. To help with this, our counselors are skilled in discretely helping divorced fathers adjust to their role change, learn ways of managing their child’s behaviors, communicate with the former spouse more effectively, and eventually smoothly introduce and integrate new long term romantic partners into the picture.
The first step in adjusting to this new way of parenting, if the father has moved out, is to create a home that will accommodate and feel comfortable for the children involved. This way, when they spend time with their father, it feels like a second home, rather than hotel they are briefly visiting. For young children, a new home can feel scary and foreign to them, so making them feel at home and welcome should be the goal. You can do this by bringing some of their old room decorations, toys, photos. If this isn’t an option, you can include them in the process of picking out new decorations with items that they leave at their new second home.
Another topic our Counselors help with, is teaching dads to let go of the guilt of the family’s separation, and helping to establish and consistently implement the ground rules for the children to follow. All too often parents become lax after their divorce due to their guilty feelings and fail to recognize that the children thrive on predictability and structure, and now is the time they need it most! Remember to also stay in close contact with teachers, coaches, and any other extra curricular activity instructors, showing an interest and involvement even during your ex’s timesharing days. Dad’s who consistently do this are proven to raise children with a higher chance of resiliency after the divorce.
The bottom line is this, your situation has changed and generally, within a matter of 2-3 months, we can help you adjust to the new expectations and responsibilities your faced with. Call us today at 561-429-2140, or email drktolbert@gmail.com, to learn ways of coping with your feelings, managing behaviors, communicating with the ex, and eventually possibly even integrating a new long term romantic partner into the picture.
Drktolbert@gmail.com