There are two very different ways of attempting to change a child’s negative behaviors. The first is punishment and the other discipline. If what you are doing now isn’t working, I’d venture to guess you’ll recognize yourself as having a punitive parent. If you need to see fast changes, keep reading to jump on the discipline ban wagon! It will take you where you want to go!!
Punishment is a penalty for a child’s behavior or action. It usually gives children the message that “I’m bad.” Often, the focus is on the parent trying desperately to maintain control and trying to prove to the child that, “I’m in charge whether you like it or not.”
Authoritarian parents often offer punishments to children. When children ask why they can’t do something, they may be told, “Because I said so.” These answers often give children the message that their opinions don’t matter and that they lack the ability to make any decisions on their own. Which then hinders their growth towards independence!
Another example of a punishment would include things such as spanking. If a child hits his brother and then receives a spanking from his parent, he learns, “I’m bad. Mom hits me.” Other examples of punishment include things such as a teenager getting grounded indefinitely or when a parent throws away a child’s toys because he didn’t clean his room. These are all things that lower the child’s self-esteem. These punishments also fail to set a clear expectation for what is expected from them.
There are several problems with punishments. One problem is that children are not taught how to behave. For example, if a child hits his brother and then receives a spanking, he is not taught what to do the next time he feels angry with his brother.
When children receive frequent punishments, they may grow up to be hostile and aggressive. When they receive a punishment, they often focus on how angry they are at their parents rather than thinking about how they can learn from their mistake. Parents who provide punishments are also inconsistent much of the time which can be quite anxiety-provoking for kids.
Discipline focuses on teaching children new skills, such as how to manage their behaviors, solve problems, and deal with their feelings. Discipline focuses on training kids to learn from their mistakes and find better ways to solve problems in the future.
Discipline techniques include things such as time out for the sake of letting them cool down. For example, if a child becomes angry and throws a toy, he is given a time out where he can calm down. The goal of time out is to teach children how to calm themselves down when they are upset so that in the future they can seek time out on their own before they throw a toy.
Discipline may include some proactive ways to promote new skills such as by using praise or reward systems. Discipline also helps foster a positive relationship between children and parents and kids are often given positive attention on a regular basis to help reduce attention seeking behaviors.
There are plenty of effective discipline properties that parents can use to teach kids how to become responsible adults. Age appropriate discipline strategies help kids feel secure in their relationships with others and promotes healthy self-esteem. Discipline is a loving way to show kids your desire to keep them safe, teach them to make healthy choices for themselves, and gain independence.
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